Vivāha or marriage is a significant saṃskāra in an individual’s life . It marks the transition
of an individual from the brahmacāri stage to Gṛhasta stage . In the Vedic view
, marriage itself is not the end , but a means to the end – personal growth and
freedom (mokṣa) . In the Vedic tradition , there are many types of marriage or
vivāha . We have the gandharva-vivāha in which mutual consent alone without any
elaborate wedding ceremony or rituals suffice for the union of the couple . For example , the marriage between
King Dushyanta and Shakuntala . However , the most common and elaborate wedding
in the Vedic tradition is the vaidika-vivāha or brahma-vivāha .
Many rituals are involved in the
vaidika-vivāha . Firstly , a nāndī- śrādha is done to seek the blessings of the
ancestors . Next , a dāyādi-homa is performed to invoke the blessings of all
devatās . Therefore , the devatās together with agni (fire) , the audience
present and the individual’s very own heart , mind and ātmā becomes sākṣi (witness)
of the sacred bond . The highlight is
definitely the māṅgalya-dhāraṇam (tying of the māṅgala-sūtra or thaali) but it
is not the final ritual . The most important
of all the rituals is the saptapadī (the taking of the seven steps ) without
which , the marriage is incomplete .
The first step in the saptapadī is for
material wealth (artha) . The second step is for health and strength . The
third step is towards all kinds of wealth , including inner wealth to lead a
dharmic life . The fourth step is towards mutual happiness , the fifth , towards
the welfare of the families and the sixth , towards prosperity in all seasons .
Finally , the seventh step is towards happiness born of wisdom (mokṣa) . Every
step taken in the saptapadī is accompanied by a prayer – “ May the
all-pervasive Lord Vishnu , the sustainer of everything , lead us as we take
this step .”
Concluding the vivāha is sakhya-homa . In
this final ritual , the bridegroom chants a mantra telling the bride that he is
the sāma and she is the ṛk , meaning that he is the lyric and she is the music
, he is the earth and she is the heaven , etc. Here , the couple also does the
hṛdaya-sparśa ( touching of the hearts ) in which both declare , “ I give my
heart to you . May your mind work in consonance with mine .” This is a pledge
by both of them pledge to be supportive of each other at all times . They also declare
neither is superior or inferior in this relationship . In a Hindu marriage ,
the man is typically older to the women and the respect given to the male is on
this basis alone . Mutual friendship alone is the essence of Vedic marriage .
In the Vedic culture , the patnī (wife)
qualifies the man for performing certain Vedic rituals . The Vedas say , “patnīva
tasya agnihotraṃ bhavati” – one who has a wife alone performs the
agnihotra-karma . In fact , the mere glance of the wife is said to purify the
oblations offered in a ritual . After marriage , the husband wears a second yajñopavitā
( sacred thread ) signifying his wife’s partaking in the rituals he performs
and the results of the rituals .
Thus , vivāha is not meant merely for intimacy
. It is a sacred commitment the couple undertakes to discover the fullness of
their life . Just like two separate rivers come together and merge in the same
ocean , two separate individuals are united by vivāha as they step together
into the path of inner growth and eternal bliss .
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