Saturday, February 14, 2015

Vedic Marriage - A Friendship Pledge




Vivāha or marriage is a significant saṃskāra in an individual’s life . It marks the transition of an individual from the brahmacāri stage to Gṛhasta stage . In the Vedic view , marriage itself is not the end , but a means to the end – personal growth and freedom (mokṣa) . In the Vedic tradition , there are many types of marriage or vivāha . We have the gandharva-vivāha in which mutual consent alone without any elaborate wedding ceremony or rituals suffice for the union  of the couple . For example , the marriage between King Dushyanta and Shakuntala . However , the most common and elaborate wedding in the Vedic tradition is the vaidika-vivāha or brahma-vivāha . 

Many rituals are involved in the vaidika-vivāha . Firstly , a nāndī- śrādha is done to seek the blessings of the ancestors . Next , a dāyādi-homa is performed to invoke the blessings of all devatās . Therefore , the devatās together with agni (fire) , the audience present and the individual’s very own heart , mind and ātmā becomes sākṣi (witness) of the sacred bond .  The highlight is definitely the māṅgalya-dhāraṇam (tying of the māṅgala-sūtra or thaali) but it is not the final ritual .  The most important of all the rituals is the saptapadī (the taking of the seven steps ) without which , the marriage is incomplete . 

The first step in the saptapadī is for material wealth (artha) . The second step is for health and strength . The third step is towards all kinds of wealth , including inner wealth to lead a dharmic life . The fourth step is towards mutual happiness , the fifth , towards the welfare of the families and the sixth , towards prosperity in all seasons . Finally , the seventh step is towards happiness born of wisdom (mokṣa) . Every step taken in the saptapadī is accompanied by a prayer – “ May the all-pervasive Lord Vishnu , the sustainer of everything , lead us as we take this step .”

Concluding the vivāha is sakhya-homa . In this final ritual , the bridegroom chants a mantra telling the bride that he is the sāma and she is the ṛk , meaning that he is the lyric and she is the music , he is the earth and she is the heaven , etc. Here , the couple also does the hṛdaya-sparśa ( touching of the hearts ) in which both declare , “ I give my heart to you . May your mind work in consonance with mine .” This is a pledge by both of them pledge to be supportive of each other at all times . They also declare neither is superior or inferior in this relationship . In a Hindu marriage , the man is typically older to the women and the respect given to the male is on this basis alone . Mutual friendship alone is the essence of Vedic marriage . 

In the Vedic culture , the patnī (wife) qualifies the man for performing certain Vedic rituals . The Vedas say , “patnīva tasya agnihotraṃ bhavati” – one who has a wife alone performs the agnihotra-karma . In fact , the mere glance of the wife is said to purify the oblations offered in a ritual . After marriage , the husband wears a second yajñopavitā ( sacred thread ) signifying his wife’s partaking in the rituals he performs and the results of the rituals . 

Thus , vivāha is not meant merely for intimacy . It is a sacred commitment the couple undertakes to discover the fullness of their life . Just like two separate rivers come together and merge in the same ocean , two separate individuals are united by vivāha as they step together into the path of inner growth and eternal bliss .

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